Fears, Hopes & Dreams

Thoughts About Fahrenheit 9/11

2004-10-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

Fahrenheit 9/11
I watched that movie and can't help but wonder why we really got into this war with Iraq. It's interesting that Iraq is so close to Saudi Arabia--a focus of the movie.

What Would You Do?
If you were getting $400 thousand dollars from the U.S. and dividing 1.4 billion dollars from Saudi Arabian interests between all your family members, which would you be devoted to? Hmmmm.

Why Did He Wait?
The part about Bush sitting in the pre-school for quite a while on September 11th after finding out what was happening was VERY interesting. Why would he wait?

I Can't Help But Wonder
I hate to think that any American would do that, but the "LOVE" of money is the root of all evil...isn't it Mr. Bush?

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 10:28 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Watching "Super Structures" on the Science Channel
Weather At Posting: 32 F - 0 C and snowing
Current Mood: Getting tired
Last Meal: Homemade chicken & vegetable soup

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Nothing Fails Like...

2004-09-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

Any Faith There?
I was working in Flagstaff, AZ today and came across a car with a bumper sticker that read: "Nothing fails like prayer."

Unbelievable
That's exactly what I thought of the bumper sticker (refering to the title of this paragraph), and the person who spent money to buy it and paste it on their car.

Athiest Or Faithless?
...or both? It's hard for me to think there are people out there who don't think there's some sort of higher power in the universe. It's not that I don't respect their opinion, it's that I can't see not believing.

How Can You Respect That?
I believe respect is something everyone with a conscience should bestow on everyone regardless--as long as morals and ethics apply. I like to think that people respect my decisions, ideas and thoughts regardless of what they believe or think. I totally believe in prayer.

I'm not expecting or asking others to agree with what I believe or think, just to respect the fact that it's my opinion which I'm entitled to, as they are entitled to their own opinions, thoughts and beliefs.

Killers, Rapists...
It's difficult to respect anyone who willingly and without regard to what they're doing, kills someone else or takes a person's ability to offer physical pleasure to another without their permission.

At the minimum, and this is with great reservation, I respect the fact that they are human and can do what ever they want, but such an act goes beyond what should be allowed. I suspect these people who allow their "evil" desires to manifest don't understand many things about respecting others...and respect in general.

The only respect I offer such a person is the fact that they are their own person and can decide what they want to say, do, believe and think. I don't want to be accused of cramming my beliefs, thoughts and opinions down their throat. But I most certainly don't respect such acts, and the person who gives themselves over to such desires.

Prayer
I can't help but want to pray for such a person who does not believe in the power of prayer--what I whole-hearted believe is the unseen force that helps change the world.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 5:59 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: 311 - "Come Original"
Weather At Posting: 63 F 17 C
Current Mood: Relaxin'
Last Meal: California Eggs Benedict - Typical eggs benedict with turkey, avocado and roasted & seasoned potato cubes (I had asparagus added to the benedict--Mmmmmm!).

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Losin' Your Health

2004-09-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

I Hate Feelin' Sick!
I think one of the greatest fears I have is getting sick, no doubt about it. I hate it so much.

The Bummer Part
The parts of being sick I hate the most include:

how little quality sleep you get while sick.

the raw nose after blowing your nose so much

the typical headache associated with illness

the lathargic feeling (I like to be active)

the congestion

the puffy eyes

the constant sneezing and runny nose

the sore throat

etc.

Allergies
I'm the only one experiencing killer allergies right now and I don't get it. All the people I know are just fine, even the one's who have similar allergies.

Cold?
I'm beginning to suspect I have a cold simultaneously or the allergies have developed into an illness.

Hmmmm.
Maybe it's just cancer or something. Jus' playin'.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 7:19 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Don Henley - "Boys Of Summer"
Weather At Posting: 55 F 13 C - monsoon hittin' hard!
Current Mood: Pissed - I wanna feel better!
Last Meal: Stragonoff and rice

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Theories I Believe

2004-09-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

Power For A City From A Small Engine
I believe in time, and most likely not in my lifetime, humanity will develop enough energy to power an entire city the size of Los Angeles from an unbelievable small engine that would fit in a glass.

I suspect because there is a way to step up and step down voltage, there is probably a way to step up and step down power. We just have to discover how.

Unlimited Space
I believe man will eventually discover a way to store virtually unlimited amounts of information in a space the size of a pin head--all steming from the discovery of Fractals.

Water Anywhere
I believe we will eventually discover a way to pull water out of "thin air." As long as there is some degree of moisture in the air, it's possible.

Polar Shift
I believe that eventually there will be a polar shift...that is to say the "North Pole" will no longer be where we recognize it to be today.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 8:52 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Blink 182 - "What's My Name Again?"
Weather At Posting: 57 F 14 C
Current Mood: Gettin' ready for bed
Last Meal: Hot sour soup and chicken fried rice

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Something I've Been Thinking About

2004-09-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Call It Something Like An Epiphany
After much thought I've come to the conclusion that the universe is inherently lazy. Everything that I know about, including humans, does what it can to find the path of least resistance.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 2:45 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Switchfoot - "I Dare You To Move"
Weather At Posting: 75 F 24 C
Current Mood: Doin' busy work around the apartment
Last Meal: Homemade fritada (sautee'd pork)

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Bad Dreams, Literally

2004-09-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

The Last Three Nights
Last night was the first night I didn't have any really weird dreams. The previous two nights I had dreams that all had a common theme: something had to be done immediately after a specific situation took place or else something bad would happen to me.

The Night Before Last
Not last night, but the night before I remember having three dreams that all had the common denominator (something had to be done immediately or else something bad would happen).

Unfortunately...actually it's kinda forunate...I don't remember the dreams cause they were so disturbing. But, it was yesterday after remembering the night's three dreams that I realized I've had four dreams total within the last three days (nights) that seem to be sending a message...or it's all coincidence, which I don't believe.

The First Dream
The dream from three nights ago I remember vividly.

Side Note: You have to understand, I have had few dreams in my entire life that I remember vividly.

Anyway, in the dream me and a couple friends were finding cool spots to slide into a local river and ended up in private property having fun. The owners of the property became aware of our presence and granted us permission to use their land. After a while, we ended up in their incredibly expensive house socializing with them.

After what seemed to be quite a while, if not days, one of my friends was (I think) intoxicated and became a little too comfortable in his surroundings. While talking about a personal experience he had in the past, it looked as though he wanted to give us an example through a spontaneous sort-of "skit" and headed for a door in one corner of the room we were in at the time.

As my friend began to move the things that blocked the door he intended to open, the owner of the property suddenly became enraged and lunged for my friend and snapped his neck in one quick twist.

We all stood there dumb-founded not believing what had just happened as my friend fell to the floor listless and shaking his head as he tried to gasp for air. It was after we realized he was dead that everyone ran for the door to leave as soon as possible.

Then the dream ended at that point and I woke up freaked out. I also remember dwealing on the dream while still in bed. That probably helped to engrain it into my memory.

I Just Can't Remember
For the life of me, I just can't remember the other three dreams I had two nights ago that really made me think about that previous night's dream too.

All I can remember is that they were similar in a message they were attempting to convey.

Spooked
I've had prophetic dreams in the past that have actually come true, but never a group of dreams that seem to reach for my attention. All I can do is know that I will eventually understand deo juvante.

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 5:27 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Leanne Womak - "I Hope You Dance"
Weather At Posting: 73 F 23 C
Current Mood: Reminiscent
Last Meal: Homemade Pork Stroganoff

Remembering 9-11-1

2004-09-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

Click Image To View Its Original Site

"A Day That Will Live In Infamy"

September 11, 2001
I'm watching a program that chronicles the seven days starting on Tuesday September 11, 2001 on A&E right now.

A New Perspective
I thought I had a grip of what really happened that day, but this program has sure shed a personalized light that I didn't have before. This program is a collection of twenty-some individual "normal people" from the New York area who happened to turn their video cameras on and capture a unique perspective on the subject.

New Yorkers Aren't That Cold
It was cool to see the hard and cold New Yorkers actually help each other out in a time of need. It made realize that New York isn't as cold-hearted and mean as most of the world sees them.

Difference Between Fear And Terror
Some of the people in the documentary were describing terror and the difference between that and just plain fear. That was the first time I'd ever really thought about the difference between fear and terror.

Defining Terror
Fear: "an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)."
Terror: "an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety."

Feeling Grateful
I'm grateful I live in a small city in an obscure location of an obscure state.

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 9:40 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Watching "Seven Days In September" on A&E
Weather At Posting: 54 F 12 C - w/20 mph winds
Current Mood: Reflective
Last Meal: Hamburger patties and fetuccini alfredo.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

2004-09-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

Click Image To View

"A Perfect Rainbow"

Watch The Video
Click Here to view a BRIEF video (16 second .avi video - 822 K) of the most perfect rainbow I've ever seen in my entire life!

I was on the way home from the Grand Canyon on September 3, 2004 about 5 pm during a monsoon. I was heading West on Hwy 180 from Valle, AZ toward Flagstaff, Arizona when I saw the third of five rainbows along the way. This rainbow was the only "complete" rainbow I saw that day.

Side note: The distance from Flagstaff, Arizona to the Grand Canyon (or from the Grand Canyon to Flagstaff, AZ) is 76 miles (one way), or about 1 hour 15 minute drive.

Directions to the Grand Canyon from Flagstaff, AZ: Take Hwy 180 North and turn right at Hwy 64 (about 45 - 50 minute drive). Then it's a straight shot to the Grand Canyon (about 25 - 30 minute drive).

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 12:34 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Yellowcard - "Only One" One of my all-time favorites
Weather At Posting: 63 F 17 C Clear & breezy
Current Mood: Spending too much time in front of the puter!
Last Meal: Home-made chicken & green chili burrito - Mmmmmmmmm!

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Vindicated

2004-09-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

Take That, You B^+(@!
I was roasting green chilies yesterday (Thursday September 2, 2004) and I had my back turned to the tip jar while I was breaking down boxes and happened to turn around right when a drunk Native American lady was moving her hand up to the tip jar.

Immediately I suspected she was gonna steal the tips out of the jar and asked her if I could help her. She hesitated for a bit and then said, "I'm here for a sample roasted chili" with a big smile on her face.

I responded by saying "I can't give you a roasted chili because it's a health hazard without a sink out here...but I can give you an unroasted chili as a sample, is that OK?"

She responded by saying, "yeah, that'll do, and I'll give you a tip if you show me your ass." Needless-to-say I said "I'll pass."

As I turned to get her an unroasted chili, I realized she probably didn't know we have four different types of the same chili...that is to say we have mild, medium, hot and extra-hot green chilies (spicyness).

I couldn't help but smile when I handed her the extra-hot chili knowing she was clueless to what was about to happen and said "have a good day."

I watched her leave and take a big bite. As she got farther away, she stopped, threw the chili down and started to gag. She turned around and saw me smilin' real big and laughing.

What a great day that was!

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 8:00 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Watching the weather channel (hurricane Francis)
Weather At Posting: 63 F 17 C breezy w/occasional rain
Current Mood: Ready for dinner
Last Meal: Lunch: Sesame chicken, two egg small rolls and a three musketeers

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Fricken Elk!

2004-08-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

FEAR AT ITS BEST

Click Image To Enlarge

"Holy Cow...I Mean Elk!"

"It Was This close To Being Pulverized"
It was a nice (fairly) clear late summer day at about 9 a.m. and I'm cruisin' about 55-60 miles-per-hour up Hwy 180 from Flagstaff, Arizona headed to the Grand Canyon. I'm whistling a cool tune while listening to the radio, care free, minding my own business.

Suddenly...
...about 400, maybe 500 feet in front of me dart two large elk across the road from the right side of the Hwy and jump over the 4 - 5 foot fence as if it were no problem at all. I hit my breaks cautiously and stare (like an idiot) at the two elk frolicing carelessly in the Ponderosa pine forest.

Random Thought
If you've had the wonderful experience of seeing a real live elk in the wild, then you know how large they get. They're actually pretty cool...when they're not playing "life and death dodge-ball."

Over Analyzing The Whole Thing
Down to about 45 miles-per-hour, I begin to think about how much I just appreciated the whole experience, despite the fact it caught me by surprise, and how I like to see the elk in their natural habitat...you know, goose bumps start to build up on my arms and I begin to feel all...gay and stupid inside.

Then the nearly unthinkable happens.

Profanity Spues Out Of My Mouth
"Holy $#*+" I scream at the top of my lungs like a little school girl in pig-tails. At that moment I see the most massive elk I've ever seen in my entire life, which at that point I thought for sure was ending in a horrific collision.

The stupid thing jumps out from nowhere (from the right side again) and crosses the street RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME (like about 15-20 feet in front of the truck) and happily jumps over the fence and trots off into the woods and obscurity without a care in the world (the stupid piece of s#*t!).

Inborn Pattern Of Behavior
Needless-to-say I hit the breaks out of "instinct," I swerve to the right and drive off the road with two tires on the road and two in the dirt kicking up tons of rocks and cinders in the process. Have you ever come to a near stop within seconds while going about 45 miles-per-hour? Try it sometime...it's an experience by itself, let-alone coupled with a precarious situation.

Recovery Process
Anyway, after my heart started beating again, I got out of the truck and checked all sides of the truck for any damage (secretly hoping something happened so I could brag about it later to the guys). (Un)fortunately everything was fine, so I gathered my thoughts (of which there aren't many) and drove to the Grand Canyon (tightly gripping the steering wheel and paying way-too-much attention to the sides of the road).

Back From The Grand Canyon
Compared to the mad-capped adventure I had driving to the Grand Canyon in the morning, the whole "bee thang" that happened to me while driving back to HQ in Flagstaff was nothing.

To Bee Or Not To Bee
Get this...a bee hits the driver's side door where the window would normally bee (the window was open at the time) and lands on my left leg with the stinger spasming franticly for the closest victim. After I feverishly did what I had to do to get the bee off my leg (to avoid another unpleasant experience) I couldn't help but laugh...oh, and by the way, I'm not sure at what point of that wonderful experience I ended up in the other lane, but nobody got hurt and nothing was damaged as a result. Another happy ending.

It Could Have Been Worse
It's a damn good thing no one was next to me on Cedar Avenue when the bee hit...cause I don't think that would have been the only collision.

After a day like today, I can't help but think: "Aint life fun?"

A fitting end to an interesting day, to say the least.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 10:23 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Steely Dan - "Do It Again" (one of my top 20 most favorite songs of all time)
Weather At Posting: 57 F 14 C - fairly clear w/a slight breeze - tons of stars
Current Mood: Tired from a long day at the Grand Canyon.
Last Meal: All-You-Can-Eat beer-battered fish (with absolutely no taste what-so-ever!), malt vinegar, french (freedom) fries and water w/no ice. Disappointing meal.

Disclaimer
The image of the elk above is "NOT" the wonderful friend I made this morning but a random image I found off the Internet. Just click on the image to go to its original site with an enlargement.

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.

Rendered Harmless

2004-08-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

A New Beginning
I had what I consider the closest thing to an epiphany when I got the great idea of creating another blog chronicling all my Fears, Hopes & Dreams." This is the culmination of that epiphany.

Fears
I have really flat feet/ankle which are becoming more and more of a painful experience the older I get. My fear is that I will end up in a wheel chair in the future as a result of the pain/condition.

Hopes
I hope in the future I have the funds to correct the foot/ankle condition I have so the pain goes away.

Dreams
I dream about the day that I no longer have pain in my feet/ankles, which is constant in my left foot/ankle. It's only been within the last six months that I'm experiencing more and more pain in my right foot/ankle.

The Season's Of Life
Life seems to experience seasons similar to that of those our planet experiences. That is to say, Spring, Summer, Autumn/Fall, Winter.

Defining The Seasons Of Life
Spring is equivalent to a period in life that is filled with happiness, joy, strength, confidence and prosperity. Winter is similar to those dark times in life where there's seems to be a cloud hovering overhead indefinitely. Summer and Fall are those transitional periods.

My Current State/Season
It's weird how life goes from mountain tops to bottomless pits. I'm getting out of what has been a bottomless pit for a few years. I'm greatful for that.

Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 7:27 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Watching "Mummies: Tales From The Egyptian Crypt" on the History Channel
Weather At Posting: 68 F 20 C - clear w/a slight breeze
Current Mood: Tired from roasting green chilies at work all day.
Last Meal: Homemade green chili with pork burrito and a few chocolate malt balls.

Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.