Fricken Elk!

FEAR AT ITS BEST

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"Holy Cow...I Mean Elk!"

"It Was This close To Being Pulverized"
It was a nice (fairly) clear late summer day at about 9 a.m. and I'm cruisin' about 55-60 miles-per-hour up Hwy 180 from Flagstaff, Arizona headed to the Grand Canyon. I'm whistling a cool tune while listening to the radio, care free, minding my own business.

Suddenly...
...about 400, maybe 500 feet in front of me dart two large elk across the road from the right side of the Hwy and jump over the 4 - 5 foot fence as if it were no problem at all. I hit my breaks cautiously and stare (like an idiot) at the two elk frolicing carelessly in the Ponderosa pine forest.

Random Thought
If you've had the wonderful experience of seeing a real live elk in the wild, then you know how large they get. They're actually pretty cool...when they're not playing "life and death dodge-ball."

Over Analyzing The Whole Thing
Down to about 45 miles-per-hour, I begin to think about how much I just appreciated the whole experience, despite the fact it caught me by surprise, and how I like to see the elk in their natural habitat...you know, goose bumps start to build up on my arms and I begin to feel all...gay and stupid inside.

Then the nearly unthinkable happens.

Profanity Spues Out Of My Mouth
"Holy $#*+" I scream at the top of my lungs like a little school girl in pig-tails. At that moment I see the most massive elk I've ever seen in my entire life, which at that point I thought for sure was ending in a horrific collision.

The stupid thing jumps out from nowhere (from the right side again) and crosses the street RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME (like about 15-20 feet in front of the truck) and happily jumps over the fence and trots off into the woods and obscurity without a care in the world (the stupid piece of s#*t!).

Inborn Pattern Of Behavior
Needless-to-say I hit the breaks out of "instinct," I swerve to the right and drive off the road with two tires on the road and two in the dirt kicking up tons of rocks and cinders in the process. Have you ever come to a near stop within seconds while going about 45 miles-per-hour? Try it sometime...it's an experience by itself, let-alone coupled with a precarious situation.

Recovery Process
Anyway, after my heart started beating again, I got out of the truck and checked all sides of the truck for any damage (secretly hoping something happened so I could brag about it later to the guys). (Un)fortunately everything was fine, so I gathered my thoughts (of which there aren't many) and drove to the Grand Canyon (tightly gripping the steering wheel and paying way-too-much attention to the sides of the road).

Back From The Grand Canyon
Compared to the mad-capped adventure I had driving to the Grand Canyon in the morning, the whole "bee thang" that happened to me while driving back to HQ in Flagstaff was nothing.

To Bee Or Not To Bee
Get this...a bee hits the driver's side door where the window would normally bee (the window was open at the time) and lands on my left leg with the stinger spasming franticly for the closest victim. After I feverishly did what I had to do to get the bee off my leg (to avoid another unpleasant experience) I couldn't help but laugh...oh, and by the way, I'm not sure at what point of that wonderful experience I ended up in the other lane, but nobody got hurt and nothing was damaged as a result. Another happy ending.

It Could Have Been Worse
It's a damn good thing no one was next to me on Cedar Avenue when the bee hit...cause I don't think that would have been the only collision.

After a day like today, I can't help but think: "Aint life fun?"

A fitting end to an interesting day, to say the least.


Above: Current Time And Weather In Flagstaff, AZ USA
Time Of Posting: 10:23 p.m. Pacific Time
Current Tunes: Steely Dan - "Do It Again" (one of my top 20 most favorite songs of all time)
Weather At Posting: 57 F 14 C - fairly clear w/a slight breeze - tons of stars
Current Mood: Tired from a long day at the Grand Canyon.
Last Meal: All-You-Can-Eat beer-battered fish (with absolutely no taste what-so-ever!), malt vinegar, french (freedom) fries and water w/no ice. Disappointing meal.

Disclaimer
The image of the elk above is "NOT" the wonderful friend I made this morning but a random image I found off the Internet. Just click on the image to go to its original site with an enlargement.


Above: An up-to-the-minute picture of the Flagstaff, Arizona USA area. Looking North toward the San Francisco Peaks from a dorm at Northern Arizona University.